Do you have a “my most embarrassing moment”?
As adults, we have all suffered embarrassment throughout our lives.
Perhaps it was something you said that was inappropriate or an inconsequential situation like a rip in your pants.
But as a man who has done many embarrassing things throughout his long life, I can unequivocally state that nothing comes close to toilet related humiliation.
Bathroom humor has been around for decades but the truth is actually not quite as funny as the jokes. Let me set the stage.
I was invited to a party (when I was still a young man feeling his oats) that promised to be a good time.
But one thing in particular had me excited; a young lady named Suzie who was the most beautiful girl in our high school.
I had been in love with her for the past four years and thought she was out of my league. But we had forged a friendship and I relished the thought of spending some quality time with her outside of school.
Suzie was going to this party and therefore I was also. I spent a looong time getting ready that night, even trimming my nose hair for the occasion. I was riding with my friend, Carey, who knew how badly I wanted to go out with Suzie.
I had spent the entire day swimming with friends at the local country club and swimming absolutely made me ravenous. So Carey and I stopped at the local Taco Bell and ate until we were stuffed. Then we proceeded to the party.
It was a huge affair at a wealthy girl’s house who was a popular cheerleader (as was Suzie). People were already hammered and it was LOUD! We grabbed a beer from the half-empty keg and made the rounds.
We walked outside and then I jerked my head to the left. The reason? Suzie was there and she appeared to be a little intoxicatcoolly into the bathroom like I just needed to check my hair or something. I closed and carefully locked the door as Suzie stayed right outside waiting. I dropped the toilet seat, dropped my pants and let nature take its course.
I can’t really describe the noise I was making nor do you want me to. And I quickly realized I was in serious trouble.
The first problem was that it was so loud, I was positive Suzie was hearing it along with the people in the next county.
Problem number two (no pun intended) was that the smell was already starting to waft under, around and through the door.
Problem number three was not expected. I finally finished my business and flushed and…it didn’t go down.
In fact, the water (and other material) began to rise. And rise. It reached the top of the bowl and kept coming…and coming.
Now, I don’t want to provide the details of what happened next. Let’s just say that I used my hands to do a plungers job. I used fourteen towels to clean up the mess and ruined my clothes in the process.
I would like to say that I snuck out a window or that Suzie wasn’t there after my 30 minute bathroom trip. I would like to say that, but it just wouldn’t be true.
I would also like to tell you that Suzie and I began a romantic relationship after this night, but the opposite was true. I did become somewhat famous in my school for my bathroom experience if that was any kind of consolation. Thank goodness it was only a few days before the end of my senior year and I soon left for college where no one knew my story, or my nickname Joe’s Crap Shack.
But the ironic thing that resulted from my most embarrassing moment? I became a plumber!
You never know…
Joe The Plumber is an Ocala Florida Plumber who has been in business for many years. He has never outlived his embarrassing bathroom moment however he did learn to stay away from Taco Bell.
What is your “my most embarrassing moment”? Let me know in the comments below.
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